Toilet Humour

I don't normally talk about work but due to the good reception to the following story, here goes...

I had to do a DILO (Day In the Life Of) 2 weeks ago on a lady who works in a call centre. A DILO is basically a day where you follow someone around and note down everything they do and how long they take to do it and see how much time they spend doing non-value added work. It is something we do as part of finding out what opportunities there are to improve processes. You are supposed to stick to the person like glue, go to the loo when they do, eat when they do and not wander off while they are working.

Anyway, her day was supposed to start at 8am so I arrived at 7.40 to get ready. The security in the building is insane. Anyone would think that people are not to be trusted. There are secure doors to the toilet area such that you need an electronic pass to get in there after hours (the normal day starts at 8.30 and ends at 5.30). I couldn't get in to go to the loo before starting. I go over to her work area and she's already started work at 7.45. So, I think, I will go when she goes...

The hours tick by...

As you may know, I have a pretty small bladder and I drink lots to avoid getting dehydration-related migraines and throwing up. So, at about 10am I'm starting to get rather itchy. Still no movement to take a break.

Another hour ticks by...

I'm finding it really hard to concentrate. It has now been 4 1/2 hours since I last went. Really busting, have to go. I excuse myself and nip off to the loo, only to bump into my boss on the way there. 'What are you doing?', he asks. 'I'm busting!', I mutter as I rush past.

Lunchtime comes. Still no movement. She takes out a box of sandwiches. She usually works through lunch and I've been forewarned as I had brought some food. I go get it from the room where my 2 bosses are sitting. They have a go at me about not sticking to the DILOee. I explain that even though they may have massive bladders that can handle 5 hours without going to the loo, I don't.

Lunchtime passes. She still hasn't moved out of her work area.

Another couple of hours tick by...

I need to go again. Another hurried trip to the loo...

Still no movement from her side. More time passes...

By this time, I think that the woman is a freak of nature. Finally, at 4.45pm!!!!, she goes. > 9 hours!!! What a machine!!!

At this point, you are thinking, well, she probably hadn't drunken anything all day. Wrong! 5 cups of tea!!!!

She finishes up at 5.30pm, by which time, I need to go again. By this time, it has become a big joke with my bosses and they ask as I come back to the room to drop off my stuff - 'Need to go to the loo?' Well, of course I do!

So ended my rather trying day bodily-functionwise. It has become the running joke in the office.

Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo

9 months ago, when I attended my first ballet, a couple of images popped into my head from Trockadero, the all-male cross-dressing ballet troupe. A few Fridays ago, as I was lugging my bags back to my apartment through the London underground, I saw an ad for their show. I had reservations as to whether they could sustain the performance over 2 hours (many other acts that I've seen clips of have let me down as they could not keep it going for a full length show.) Let me say right off, I was not disappointed by them in the slightest!!
They were the perfect combination of great technique and comedy. Their comedic performances were so funny that I was left with tears streaming down my face. Their famous pas de quatre from Swan Lake and Saint Saens' Dying Swan pieces were even more hysterical live. During ballet corps dances one person would be out of time or out of place and go scurrying across the stage in a mad panic. In other dances, they combined the largest guy playing the female role with the smallest one playing the male role. They alternated the camp with serious technical performances. Their pointe work was far superior to the ballerinas in the English National Ballet.
In my tradition of over-analysing everything, I have a theory as to why they are so good. They are able to inject humour into the performance as people do not expect cross-dressing ballet dancers to be completely serious. However, as classically trained dancers they are also superior than women in women's roles as they are stronger and (mostly) light enough to maintain their form en pointe. The only thing that shows them up is when they perform solos in male roles. This is when they are at their weakest as they are most likely weaker male dancers who, through being too short, too tall or not powerful enough, ended up in this troupe.
Overall, it was fantastic and I recommend it as a must-see if it ever comes to your city.